Theories about the family

It is interesting how you never really fully understand how your family dynamics affect you until you take a moment to step back and see the ways you have been affected. As I was in class this past week I realized some of the different systems between my different family members, which I had never really thought about before. I also have been thinking about the different 'roles' in my family with all of my siblings and it is so true to see how when we all get back together we take on those 'old roles'. For example I am the youngest child in my family, so I have always been known as the baby and as such I have definitely been treated as the baby. When there have been changes in my family such as marriages, deaths and births it has been interesting to see how our family system has sifted and changed in order to fit the updated system. 

Something that changed the way I thought about things was the idea that everything that we do is a symbol of something. I was thinking about different experiences I have had with other people and how I thought that they were upset or angry at me because they would remain silent, but that was just who they were. They weren't upset with me, that is just who they were. I think this concept is helping me to realize that some of the things that I do might come off as a certain way to other people. This can be difficult because these symbols are often misinterpretations of things that are happening. 

I remember a specific experience where I really liked a guy and I was so nervous around him overtime that I was in his presence. I remember after every encounter I always felt like I didn't say the 'right' thing to him and that I came across as a crazy girl that was obsessed with him. When in reality he didn't even have a clue that I was interested in him. It is interesting to see how our perceptions can deceive us to believe in only one possibility. 

I think one of the most challenging parts of family relationships are the misinterpretations that happen on a day to day basis. These misunderstandings can create tension and unneeded stress to the family. This is another thing that really struck me this past week was the fact that conflicts are not generally a bad thing. Conflicts help us to grow closer to our families and we learn better communication skills and more importantly, we learn how to compromise. We have to learn how to outweigh what our wants are and look at what is the best option for everyone even when it is challenging.